I’m not sure why, but I just think this is the perfect poster. The typeface, the colors, the outline that is unquestionably a Vespa. Commercial or not, this is art (if that hack Andy Warhol is “art”, so is this), and I truly, deeply love it.
And Starbucks refuses to sell it. I’ve asked managers, like a fixture sale. I’ve tried to bribe them to report it damaged and get a replacement. I’ve perused Starbucks’ website looking for items for sale. So one of these days I’m just going to have to steal it.
Yeah, that’s right. Art theft and great heists are about to visit Starbucks. It’s gonna happen. Of course, typing out my intent to commit a crime (is it petty larceny or theft? I guess it changes depending on the value of the item), probably isn’t a good idea for my inevitable defense case. I mean, when some investigator says “Hey, crooks are stupid and I bet they posted it on Facebook.”, all they’ll have to do is a quick internet search for “stolen Starbucks artwork”. See how thoughtful I am? I even posted some easily searchable key phrases and just might tag the post accordingly. Why would I do something so foolish? Why would I hamper my “get-away-with-it” ness? Because I don’t want to steal it, I want to buy it. It’s beautiful. These are just the ends I’ve been driven to.
So really, Starbucks, this little matter of breaking and entering and teeny tiny but of theft that’s about to occur is your fault.