Red wine and “gay” bacon

Sometimes, life is really good.

One of my roommates here in our deployed “bunker” is a reluctant wine snob and not a half-bad cook. We’ve traded some recipes, ideas, and favorite ingredients and it’s been a lot of fun. Due to unforeseen issues at work, all of us were at the house at the same time (a rare occurrence) and chef roomie cooked chicken with cheese and bacon for all of us- like a poor man’s chicken cordon bleu with the stuff on top rather than stuffed inside, and using Kraft singles for cheese. Hey, we’re limited to ingredients on-hand and it was delicious.

So I’m learning enough about wine to… appreciate it? Not mind it? The word I’m looking for escapes me…. Oh! I-can-drink-a-red-without-gagging-or-making-faces. That’s the word I was looking for.

What? Three years in England makes you a beer snob. Doesn’t mean I’m classy enough to care about wine.

But I decided to experiment today and tried some wines available in the “deli” of the place we’re staying. I thought, “Hey, we’re in [undisclosed African location]. Maybe I should get this South African wine?” It was the Red Jerepigo, and I’m very glad I can type it rather then read it on a podcast because I have no idea how it’s pronounced. It’s from Swartland Winery and it’s awful. I’m given to embellishment, but I promise you this stuff tasted like cherry cough syrup with no exaggeration whatsoever. Reluctant wine snob/chef roomie actually asked if I’d be offended if he didn’t drink it after just one sip. I laughed and said no, because I’d rather just chug NyQuil than drink this garbage and he excused my own desire to pour it down the drain. I don’t know wine, but I know what sucks.

But like the first sentence of this post proclaims, the night got awesome shortly afterward. Because I also bought a bottle of Barton & Guestier Cabernet Sauvignon (which I also can’t pronounce) that wasn’t great, but wasn’t bad either. And then social weirdo/chef roomie proceeded to make “gay bacon” (ed.- candied).

It’s dessert, and it’s bacon. This night could only have been improved with Claudia Schiffer as our waitress telling me the ability to grow a full, manly beard was overrated.

I had just a mite too much wine, and now find myself searching the web for an Airstream trailer to buy instead of a house. I’m not sure what/if that says anything about me. Also, I want to buy some 365+ red wine glasses from Ikea.

One thought on “Red wine and “gay” bacon

  1. Cabernet Sauvignon is pronounced kaa-bur-nay saw-vin-yon. Damn French.

    I’m still laughing over the gay bacon.

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