One of these days…

I’m not sure why, but I just think this is the perfect poster. The typeface, the colors, the outline that is unquestionably a Vespa. Commercial or not, this is art (if that hack Andy Warhol is “art”, so is this), and I truly, deeply love it.

Italian Roast

And Starbucks refuses to sell it. I’ve asked managers, like a fixture sale. I’ve tried to bribe them to report it damaged and get a replacement. I’ve perused Starbucks’ website looking for items for sale. So one of these days I’m just going to have to steal it.

Yeah, that’s right. Art theft and great heists are about to visit Starbucks. It’s gonna happen. Of course, typing out my intent to commit a crime (is it petty larceny or theft? I guess it changes depending on the value of the item), probably isn’t a good idea for my inevitable defense case. I mean, when some investigator says “Hey, crooks are stupid and I bet they posted it on Facebook.”, all they’ll have to do is a quick internet search for “stolen Starbucks artwork”. See how thoughtful I am? I even posted some easily searchable key phrases and just might tag the post accordingly. Why would I do something so foolish? Why would I hamper my “get-away-with-it” ness? Because I don’t want to steal it, I want to buy it. It’s beautiful. These are just the ends I’ve been driven to.

So really, Starbucks, this little matter of breaking and entering and teeny tiny but of theft that’s about to occur is your fault.

6 thoughts on “One of these days…

  1. I feel the same way about this painting and that’s how I came across your blog. Looking to buy one. I asked a SB manager and he said that whenever a SB location is remodeled they just giveaway the art to employees, customers or whoever wants it at that time. So find a manager who will give you a heads up when their store is scheduled to get renovated. Good luck.

  2. We have one if these in boston taking up a chunk of our garage. Not sure if the owner would be willing to part with it. But you can make an offer. He is a asst mgr at Starbucks.

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